Modern Times (turn off your TV and burn your newspapers)

Your Attention Please

The Polar DEW has just warned that
A nuclear rocket strike of
At least one thousand megatons
Has been launched by the enemy
Directly at our major cities.
This announcement will take
Two and a quarter minutes to make,
You therefore have a further
Eight and a quarter minutes
To comply with the shelter
Requirements published in the Civil
Defence Code - section Atomic Attack.
A specially shortened Mass
Will be broadcast at the end
Of this announcement -
Protestant and Jewish services
Will begin simultaneously -
Select your wavelength immediately
According to instructions
In the Defence Code. Do not
Take well-loved pets (including birds)
Into your shelter - they will consume
Fresh air. Leave the old and bed-
ridden, you can do nothing for them.
Remember to press the sealing
Switch when everyone is in
The shelter. Set the radiation
Aerial, turn on the geiger barometer.
Turn off your Television now.
Turn off your radio immediately
The Services end. At the same time
Secure explosion plugs in the ears
Of each member of your family. Take
Down your plasma flasks. Give your children
The pills marked one and two
In the C.D green container, then put
Them to bed. Do not break
The inside airlock seals until
The radiation All Clear shows
(Watch for the cuckoo in your
perspex panel), or your District
Touring Doctor rings your bell.
If before this, your air becomes
Exhousted or if any of your family
In critically injured, administer
The capsules marked 'Valley Forge'
(Red Pocket in No. 1 Survival Kit)
For painless death. (Catholics
Will have been instructed by their priests
What to do in this eventuality).
This announcement is ending. Our President
Has already given orders for
Massive retaliation - it will be
Decisive. Some of us may die.
Remember, statistically
It is not likely to be you.
All flags are flying fully dressed
On Government buildings - the sun is shining.
Death is the least we have to fear.
We are all in the hands of God,
Whatever happens happens by His Will.
Now go quickly to your shelters.

Peter Porter


The Phosgene Kid said...

Interesting song. Never had to take any radiation pills, but did have to take pills to protect against chemical attack. That was a hoot.

Nice Mohawk. I'd wear my hair that way too, but I don't have any, so I have to settle for the skinhead look.

Middle Ditch said...

I can just see this sort of thing happening

Anonymous said...

i wish
i had read your
instructions first, ruela...

...i have already burned my TV and turned off my newspapers



Ruela said...

The Phosgene Kid

They did side effects?

Thanx Phos, I'm so proud with mine Mohawk, but I have to take some time to put it on the air ;)

Try a Combover ;)

Ruela said...

Middle Ditch

me too, but I hope doesn't happen...

Ruela said...



Born to be wild ;)

foam said...

surely we don't have to turn off our computers though!
love the photos! the mohawk is a great look for you..

ANNA-LYS said...

You look great

lol @ /t.


Ruela said...


oh no, computer no!!
I want to stay in touch with my friends;)

Thank you.

Ruela said...


Thank you sex symbol ;)



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